5 habits that drain your energy and how to change them

Sis, have you been feeling drained lately? I’ll be the first to put my hands up. Girl, I’m with you. I get it.

With all that’s going on in the world today, feeling sapped comes with the territory. However, outside of that, there are habits that you may be engaging in that also drain your energy. And no, I’m not talking about watching the news on the television, AKA ‘Tell-lie-vision’.

In this blog post, I share with you 5 habits that you may be engaging in that drain your energy and how to change them. Let’s go!

Habit number 1: Gossiping

 I may have hit a nerve with this one-ouch! If you’re anything like me sis, you grew up around your mama and dem huddling talking about someone-the next-door neighbour who most likely was a woman, or anyone who their tongues lashed onto. And so, it’s no surprise that you engage in gossiping. We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, but that doesn’t mean that we must continue with the mess-because that’s what it is girl, some mess. Gossiping serves absolutely no purpose, and it drains you of your energy. Have you ever finished gossiping about someone and you feel bad about yourself? This is because innately you know that it’s not something positive to do.

How to change the habit: Time spent gossiping could be spent improving yourself. Read a book. Write in your journal. Create art. Go to the gym. Go for a walk. Or just sleep! Get your zzzz’s on. A good way to start tackling the habit of gossiping is to ask yourself the following questions: is this serving me? How does me talking about the next woman put money in my bank account? Is what I’m saying true? Even if it’s true, do I need to say it? Is what I’m saying any of my business? When you answer these questions for yourself, you will see that gossiping does not serve you, and that it’s a complete waste of your time and energy.

Habit number 2: Staying committed to that ‘F’ boy

Sis, you need to throw the whole ‘F’ boy away. Throw him in the thrash, where he belongs. Stop calling his phone for the 99.9 millionth time. Stop texting him (he saw the text and left you on ‘read’). Stop posting sexy pictures on Instagram with subliminal messages-girl he doesn’t care. Sis, just stop with the shenanigans. You deserve better. You are a Queen, start acting like one. There’s nothing that drains your energy like staying committed to a man who doesn’t value or respect you. Yeah, that ‘D’ might be A+ but what about your mental health? What about your peace? What about your physical health? Value yourself enough to give your body, your time, and your energy to a man who deserves you. I speak from a place of love, not judgement, because I too in the past gave myself to ‘men’ (and I use the term ‘men’ loosely) who didn’t deserve me one bit. But we move!

How to change the habit: The first step is to realise that you are a Queen! Queens don’t settle for less than they deserve. Queens don’t lower their standards. Queens don’t entertain ‘F’ boys. Once you recognise your worth, you’ll start to act accordingly. After you’ve come to your senses (because girl, you must have lost the good sense that God gave you, to be chasing behind that ‘F’ boy); start implementing practical ways to cut off communication with him. For example, when you’re tempted to call him, call one of your girl friends instead. Limit your time spent on social media to avoid seeing his posts. Start hanging out in spaces where you can meet good eligible men. Start a hobby to keep your mind occupied. Girl, whatever you do, drop that ‘F’ boy.

Habit number 3: Hanging around negative friends

Negativity is all around us. And sometimes, it rears its ugly head in the people who we spend the most time with-our friends. Sis, that friend who always has something negative to say when you share good news. The one who likes to put a damper in your spirit whenever you’re in a good mood. The one who never validates your feelings. The one who judges you. The one who passes off rude comments as jokes. That’s her! Miss Negative Nancy. Hanging around friends like this is damaging to your psyche. And it drains your energy. Run sis, run!

How to change the habit: Limit the amount of time you spend around your negative friends. The less time you spend around them, the less time you are subject to their negativity. Find something constructive to do instead of wasting time dwelling in their pessimism. And depending on their level of negativity, you may just need to sever your relationship with them. Sis, do what you need to do for your sanity. Always put YOU first.

Habit number 4: Thinking negatively about yourself

A positive mindset is one of the best tools that you can have. A positive mindset begets a positive life. Conversely, a negative mindset begets a negative life. It’s very easy to get caught up in thinking negatively about yourself. At one point in my life, I was the chairwoman of the ‘thinking negatively about yourself’ committee. So, I think I am more than qualified to address this issue. This is how it works; one negative thought leads to another, and another, and another, and another. You get the point. Before you know it, your mind is filled with all types of destructive thoughts about yourself. Thoughts about how inadequate you are, how unattractive you are and how unaccomplished you are. Ruminating on negative thoughts about yourself is a useless exercise, drains your energy and toxic to your mental health.

How to change the habit: Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Easier said than done, I know. Remember, I was the chairwoman of the ‘thinking negatively about yourself’ committee, until I finally handed in my resignation. So, I know a thing or two about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. You might be wondering how to do this. Sis, I’ve got you. What has worked for me is to write positive affirmations on sticky notes and stick them on my mirror, so that each time I look at myself, I recite the words. Overtime, you start slowing erasing the negative thoughts, and one day it hits you like an epiphany that you are ‘that girl’. The girl who thinks positively about herself. Remember that ‘Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment’ (Zig Ziglar).

Habit number 5: Comparing yourself to the next girl

Comparing yourself to the next girl is such a waste of your precious time sis. Who has time for that? Do you? Because I certainly don’t. I know that social media makes it so much easier to compare yourself to the next girl, with everyone showcasing their ‘best life’, but at some point, you’ve got to be in tuned with your own life. Get in tuned with your truth, your reality, your existence. Sis, do yourself a favour and get off ‘the gram’. Get off face book. Instead of being on face book for half of the day, how about looking within and facing yourself? Unless you’re doing something meaningful on social media, what are you doing sis?

How to change the habit: Schedule time where you take social media breaks, this is so important for your mental health. Delete the social media apps off your phone, and when you do get back to using them, limit yourself to a set time-10 or 15 minutes of down time (if you’re pushing it-20), but not hours of aimless scrolling. Mindless scrolling on social media is toxic and drains your energy. Not to mention it fuels your need to compare yourself to the next girl. And that’s what we’re not gonna do!

Conclusion: These are just some of the habits that drain your energy, there are lots more. Do you resonate with any? We’re all human sis, and we’re all evolving (no judgement from me!). I’m just here to inspire you to be the best version of yourself, by sharing the lessons that I’ve learned along my own journey.

Let’s have a conversation in the comment section. Can you think of any other habits that drain your energy? How are you shifting your mindset to change them? Let me know girl. I would love to hear your thoughts. Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog on your way out, so that you won’t miss when I post. Thank you for reading and I hope that you took something valuable away from the post. Until next time, we’ll meet again on these pages.