The three deadly C’s you should not adopt in 2020.

We are two weeks into a new decade, the year that everyone has been raving about. This is the year where people appear to be more determined than ever to throw old habits out of the window and surge towards bigger and better things. The words ‘twenty-twenty’ seem to leave a sweet flavour in the mouth, a palate of new beginnings and victories. But in order to cross the finish line towards your goals and dreams, there are three deadly C’s that you should not adopt in 2020. Read on to see what they are, and their antidotes.

Deadly C# 1-Comparison:

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

It was Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president of the USA who cited this quote and it still holds true to this day. In the age of social media, it is very easy for us to compare ourselves to the images of people we see online. We can get stuck into wishing that we have the luxury lives of the people we see flashing on our screens. What we have to realise is that social media is controlled content, and people tend to portray only the best parts of them. Even in our everyday living we get drawn into likening what we have to what our friends, colleagues or neighbours have; from our cars, houses, jobs, finances and even relationships.

The Antidote: Be inspired:  Look at people’s achievements, not to compare but to inspire you to want to do better, and be better. Use their attainments as a benchmark for where you want to be. Tell yourself that if he or she can achieve it, so can you.  Develop self-awareness so that you are able to tune into those moments when you begin to compare yourself to someone else; in this way you are better able to stop your mind from doing so. Focus on yourself, so that your energy is diverted towards improving your own life.

Deadly C #2-Competing:

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms”

This Zen Shin quote creates such a vivid picture. Visualise with me if you may, a garden of flowers, all beautiful in their own way, daffodils, hibiscuses, roses and tulips. They are each unique: hues of yellows, reds and purples. The daffodil does not stop to envy the rose’s petals, or wishes that it was red instead of yellow. The hibiscus does not day dream about the tulip, wishing that it had its shape. They just bloom. Likewise, we as humans, particularly women, should not compete with each other. Your purpose is not the other woman’s purpose, neither is your journey hers, nor vice versa.

The Antidote: Compete with the old version of yourself: Self-help Writer Edmond Mbiaka said it best, ‘the only competition that matters the most, is competing to become better than your old self’. You should be competing with the past version of your ‘self’ to change deep-rooted negative habits and self-limiting beliefs. Compete with the man in the mirror, or the woman staring back from its reflection. Be ok with being imperfect because perfection is a myth. As you start to focus on your ‘self’ and attend to your own affairs you will begin to see the antiquated versions of you dwindle away, until they are no longer there. If I were to add one more thing, it would be to bloom where you are planted!

Deadly C #3-Complaining:

“Complaining is a complete waste of one’s energy. Those who complain the most accomplish the least”

 Those are the words of Robert Tew, a former British professional rugby player. I absolutely agree with Robert, and couldn’t have said it better myself. It is oh so easy for us to complain, even about the simplest things. We complain when it rains too much, doesn’t rain, when it’s too hot, or too cold. We complain about work, our children, the economy, our bodies, and the list goes on.

The Antidote: Practise gratitude: It is amazing what happens when we are simply grateful for the things that we do have, instead of complaining about the things that we don’t have. Scientific studies have shown that gratitude activates the Hypothalamus, the part of our brain that regulates sleep, temperature, growth and metabolism. So, if you are up at nights counting sheep because you can’t sleep, you may want to start being grateful. Grab a note book, label it ‘Gratitude Journal’ and start recording the things that you are grateful for. And watch your life change in a positive way!

We have all been victims of the three deadly C’s. But it is never too late to change old patterns and create new ones.

Comment below and tell me which of the three deadly C’s you are most susceptible to, and how you will begin to implement changes in 2020.